


Mirrors

by howsthismylife



Category: Supernatural, destiel - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-28
Updated: 2016-07-28
Packaged: 2018-07-27 07:33:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,267
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7609381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/howsthismylife/pseuds/howsthismylife
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Morning, Dean,” he mumbles at the crook of Dean’s neck.</p><p> </p><p>“Morning, Angel,”</p><p> </p><p>Castiel looks at him then and says, “Where’s my breakfast, human?”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mirrors

**Author's Note:**

> a little drabble to pass the time.  
> not beta read so sorry for the errors. 
> 
> give me a chance.

  
Castiel wakes up at the smell of bacon. He blinks his bleary eyes and smiles to himself before slowly getting up and getting dressed. There’s a soft hum of music coming from the kitchen and Castiel goes to see Dean making breakfast, swaying a little to the sound from the radio. He thumps his head gingerly on Dean’s back and hears Dean chuckle softly.

  
“He lives!” Dean cheers, waving the spatula in his hand.

  
Slowly, Castiel finds himself wrapped around Dean’s arms as they sway slowly to the music. Castiel doesn’t know what it is but it’s soothing his usual morning grumpiness away.

  
“Morning, Dean,” he mumbles at the crook of Dean’s neck.

  
“Morning, Angel,”

  
Castiel looks at him then and says, “Where’s my breakfast, human?”

  
Dean rolls his eyes fondly and smirks, “Sunnyside up and bacon, your highness,” he bows mockingly and sits Castiel down, putting plates at the table, and of course, coffee. 

  
“Thank you, Dean,” he smiles at Dean which earns him a soft peck on his lips.

  
“Always happy to serve you,”

  
Castiel digs in to his food. He always finds Dean like this in the mornings; carefree and simple; like Heaven and Hell are not after their tails on a daily basis; the creatures of the night all but forgotten. Castiel likes this version of Dean the best.

  
Dean sits down across him and eats, occasionally smirking at him while his mouth is full and Castiel can’t help but fall in love all over again. 

  
Another thing Castiel likes about mornings is the small moments he gets with Dean alone while Sam is doing his morning runs. Castiel likes to imagine that this would be their lives in an alternate reality: he and Dean peacefully eating breakfast while waiting for Sam to come and eat with them, and then they’d go on with their normal lives with their normal jobs with their normal friends, away from the nightmares the night brings. No Vampires or Werewolves. No Witches or Wendigos. No Demons and Angels hunting them down. Just this: simple and warm, carefree and happy. 

  
And when Dean looks at him with those green eyes of his, Castiel thinks—hopes, that Dean is thinking the same thing. 

  
He hears Sam before he sees him, along with the loud thud of the bunker’s door. Castiel greets him with a smile and Dean offers him food. 

  
“I’ll go and take a shower first,” Sam says. He’s sweating like always, with his hair on a tight bun. 

  
When Sam gets back Castiel had already migrated to the couch nursing his third cup of coffee. Dean sits beside him, cleaning his guns. Sam sits across them with his Kale smoothie. He knows its kale because of the color, and Sam had taking a liking on the vegetable a couple of days back.

  
“What the fuck is that?” he hears Dean grunt. Castiel can almost picture the look of disgust on Dean.

  
“It’s Kale,” Sam takes a gulp. “You should try it.”

  
Dean scoffs, “No thanks, I don’t hate myself that much.”

  
Sam rolls his eyes. “It’s actually pretty good,” Castiel says.

  
Dean turns to him with a scowl and says, “Not you, too!”

  
“I’ve tried it twice. I quite like it.”

  
“I can’t believe I kiss that blasphemous mouth of yours,” Dean shakes his head.

  
“Then don’t.” Castiel smirks at him and Dean scowls some more. They stare at each other and Sam clears his throat.

  
“I’ll go before you two start dry humping each other … again!” Sam stands up and walks, “I’m going to the library if anyone cares. I’ll look us a case!”

  
When Sam is gone, Dean goes back to cleaning his guns and Castiel finishes his coffee. He places it on the coffee table when Dean speaks, “Fine.”

  
“Fine, what?”

  
“Fine, I won’t kiss you.”

  
“Dean –” Castiel starts. Dean shrugs and he rolls his eyes. Sometimes Dean can get really childish. So, he shifts closer, resting his head on Dean’s shoulders. Dean doesn’t move away but continues on polishing one of the knives. He runs circles on Dean’s leg and says, “Can you really?”

  
Dean huffs. And Castiel lifts his head and looks at him. Dean’s not looking at him and Castiel gets to trace his features as Dean busies himself with assembling back the guns. He leans in closer, close enough to whisper to Dean’s ears, “Can you really?”

  
“Fine!” Dean throws his hands up. Castiel smirks. He knows that look. He recognizes the playfulness in Dean’s eyes. “Let’s make a bet.”

  
“About what?” he tilts his head. Castiel knows Dean likes it when he does.

  
Dean looks like he’s trying not to smirk back. He holds up two fingers and says, “Two weeks. If I manage to not kiss you in two weeks then I win.”

  
“What do you get for winning, Dean?”

  
“A favor,” Dean smirks.

  
“Hmm,” he purses his lips in mock thinking and says, “I think I know what favor that is.”

  
Dean waggles his eyebrows and Castiel rolls his eyes but smirks nonetheless. “And if you lose? Because you will lose, Dean Winchester,” he says, slowly inching towards Dean, looking at his lips. They both know neither can stand without being within feet—inches of each other, without touching each other. This is all for fun, Castiel knows. And he’s all up for fun.

  
“You don’t give me enough credit then,” Dean leans away until his back is pressed on the arm of the couch.

  
“If you lose,” Castiel licks his lips, “you’ll have to drink that Kale smoothie for a week.”

  
He can see Dean’s eyes tracing his lips. Castiel smiles and pulls away, grabbing his empty mug of coffee, “Deal!” Dean says.

  
“Deal.”

  


+++

  


They went to bed that night. And as per night, Castiel tucks himself beside Dean, Dean’s arms wrapped protectively around him. He doesn’t like to sleep, wants time to just stop so he could soak in what his life has come to. But his eyes feel heavy, and Dean’s breathing starts calming down, and Castiel is so close to sleeping. 

  
He didn’t know that he being stripped off his grace would lead into this. At first, Castiel thought that Dean would kick him out again, leave him to figure things out on his own. But when he fell, for good he thought, something in Dean Winchester changed. Their looks got more understanding, tainted with a hint of fondness in their eyes. 

  
Castiel didn’t really know how to process emotions properly when he was an angel. And now that he was human it all came rushing into him like a flood. He never knew that this ‘profound bond’ he had with Dean was something more—so much more than he had imagined.

  
He’s almost afraid to close his eyes now. He smiles, remembering how Dean leaned his head away when Castiel was about to kiss him goodnight.

  
“Nope,” Dean had said, “Not giving up that easy.”

  
He had almost forgotten about their little game. It’s silly, he knows. But Castiel is happy. 

  
Dean will give up come morning. He just knows it. 

  
But for now, Castiel will sleep. He closes his eyes and concentrates on the feeling of Dean’s arms around him, the silent breathing of the other and wonders, wonders if he can have this forever.

  


+++

  


“cas!” he turns to look at his back. he’s sure he heard his name. he’s sure he heard dean’s voice call to him. he furrows his brow and listens.

  
there it is again.

  
all he gets are blurry visions and flashes, voices shouting. at some point castiel feels something brush his forehead, his cheek, his chin. but there’s no one there. castiel can’t really make out the faces, can really recognize the voices other than dean’s but it’s there.

  
he can’t move. castiel tries moving his fingers, willing them to move but he can’t. he tries to open his eyes, open his mouth to say something but can’t.

  
panic slowly rises within him. he needs dean. he needs him now. 

  
he feels his body shaking. dean is calling his name.

  
“cas!”

  
finally, castiel wakes up with a gasp.

  


+++

  


“Cas!” When Castiel opens his eyes he sees Dean’s worried face. He looks at his surroundings. He’s in their room. He’s sweating, and Dean pushes a glass of water in front of him. Castiel takes it and takes a gulp.

  
“Are you alright?” Dean asks, brows furrowed. “You we’re having a nightmare.”

  
Castiel swallows and says, “I’m fine, Dean.” 

Dean hugs him and Castiel hugs back. “It was just a bad dream.”

  
There are no windows in their room so he doesn’t know what time it is. Even if its dawn he doesn’t think he’ll go back to bed—doesn’t think he’ll be able to go back to sleep.

  
So, Dean leads him to the kitchen to make him some coffee. Castiel sits on one of the stools and watches him.

  
“I’m fine, Dean.”

  
“Yeah, well you’ve been having these nightmares frequently. I’m just worried is all.” Dean places a steaming mug in front of him and Dean sits across.

  
“Well, I have you, Dean.”

  
“You bet your ass you do.” they smile.

  
“Can I get a kiss now?” Castiel tries.

  
Dean shakes his head and scoffs, “Not gonna happen.”

  
“I just had a bad dream, Dean,” Castiel mock-pouts and looks at Dean. He learned it from Sam.

  
“No puppy dog eyes, jeez. I gotta stop you from hanging out with Sam so much.” Dean says, “Plus, I’d really like to win that favor if you know what I mean.” He smirks and Castiel rolls his eyes.

  


+++

  


They find a hunt a couple of days after; a vamp nest in DC. There were no available hunters so the Winchesters took the job.  
It’s a long drive. Castiel sits in the passenger seat now. He thinks that Sam might not be pleased with the arrangement but Sam just smiles at them both. “More leg space for me,” Sam said. Most of the drive Castiel stares at the window watching the houses and the trees and the people. Occasionally he would look at Dean and Dean would look at him and they would smile at each other. Then Sam would clear his throat and ask for a stopover. 

  
They still don’t kiss, which bums Castiel a little. So, he finds ways into making Dean kiss him; leaning closer to the other while they wait for Sam from the restroom; biting his lips when Dean is looking at him; on the road he had stated that one of the pleasures he get with being human was kissing, but Dean only scoffed at him and shook his head.

  
“What’s up with you two?” Sam asks.

  
“We have a bet,” Castiel turns to look at Sam, “If Dean can stand without kissing me in two weeks then he gets a favor.”

  
“And if he loses?”

  
“Dean will drink Kale smoothie for a week,” he smirks.

  
“How far are you guys in?”

  
“Five days.”

  
“Wow,” Sam’s eyebrows shoots up, “Dean, kudos for self control.”

  
“Give me some credit, Sammy!”

  
“He will lose though,” Castiel says confidently.

  
“Will not!”

  
“Will, too.”

  
“Shut your mouth, Cas,” Dean hits him playfully.

  
“Make me.” Castiel smiles.

  
They stop for a motel that night; taking one room with two queens. Dean hits the shower first while Sam researches. Castiel sits on the bed and reads.

  
It’s 8 in the evening when they decide to hit the hay. As per usual, Castiel tucks himself beside Dean.

  
There were no nightmares this time.

  


+++

  


The hunt goes well. He had watched Dean fight before, he’s the best hunter out there and it shows. Castiel and Dean fighting together, they make one of the scariest combinations. Even without his grace, Castiel moves effortlessly while Dean advances. Castiel watches Dean’s back and vice versa. They’re a great team. Too great a team that they somehow forget that Sam was even with them.

  
“Sam!” Dean shouts. One of the vampires managed to knock Sam out cold. Dean instantly kills it. 

  
They stop for another motel after the hunt. Dean turning on his mother-hen switch that Castiel adored. They lay Sam on one of the beds. Dean takes care of him and Castiel wishes for his grace to return just so he could heal him.

  
They sleep after they’ve cleaned themselves. Dean running circles on his back. Castiel tries for a kiss just to ease Dean’s worrying, and for a second he thinks Dean will kiss him but then Dean smirks at him and winks before closing his eyes. Castiel shakes his head but smiles. He could kiss Dean now that his eyes are closed, but he knows that Dean wouldn’t like that. 

  
So, Castiel closes his eyes then. Feeling the warmth of the body beside him.

  


+++

  


Castiel opens his eyes slowly. The sun is already shining through the curtains. He looks over at Dean who’s still asleep. He feels someone staring at him so he squints, propping his elbow. Sam is awake. And he’s staring at Castiel. He can’t decipher the look on Sam’s eyes—maybe it’s because of the mornings. But then Sam whispers.

  
“Cas,”

  
“Sam?” Castiel slowly sits, careful not to wake Dean up. “How are you feeling?”

  
“Cas,” Sam calls his name again. There’s a look of worry in Sam’s eyes now, it’s too prominent not to notice. “We don’t have much time. You have to wake up.”

  
“What do you mean?” he furrows his brow.

  
“This is just a dream,” Sam shifts his gaze over at Dean’s. He smiles at Castiel with understanding and hurt and Castiel finds himself confused. “I know this is nice but it’s not real.”

  
“What do you mean?” he reiterates.

  
“Can—can we talk outside?”

  
Castiel nods and puts on some clothes. Sam goes ahead to give him some time and when he goes out he finds Sam leaning over at the Impala.

  
“Sam?”

  
“We were looking for you,” Sam starts. Castiel lets him talk. “What’s the first thing you remember when all this … happened?”

  
Castiel squints. Not really sure what Sam is going on about. His mind goes to that morning where he woke up to the smell of bacon without his permission. He furrows his brow and purses his lips. Sam looks at him like he knows what he’s thinking. 

  
“You fell,” Sam says, looking down at the ground, “You fell and Dean kicked you out—again. I was against it at first but … you know Dean.”

  
“What are you talking about, Sam?” he asks, frustrated. He wants answers. 

  
“You were gone for five days. We started searching for you when we couldn’t reach your phone. We tracked you down and found you on an abandoned warehouse in Iowa.” Sam explains, “Whatever is happening here? It’s not real. It’s not real, Cas.”

  
“Sam …”

  
“You were caught by a Djinn, Cas.”

  
“A Djinn?” Cas whispers. And suddenly, flashes of images come rushing into him; memories of him walking down the street with a duffle bag; snippets of him begging for Dean not to push him away again; fragments of their argument. He shakes his head. It’s starting to hurt and Castiel blinks away the tears.

  
Does this mean that the past few days weren’t real? 

  
He stumbles back but Sam catches him before he falls completely. If he was still an angel he could have figured out the illusion when he first woke up. But he’s human now. He remembers falling. He remembers falling and the reality that Dean wasn’t there to catch him. It hurts. His chest hurts.

  
“Cas … Cas …” Sam cups his cheeks. He focuses on Sam—the real Sam. “You know what to do?”

  
Castiel nods numbly. He’ll have to leave this dream—this world to go back to the real one. The real one where he sleeps on benches without the warmth of Dean beside him for comfort; the real one where he struggles to find work for the second time because he knows he doesn’t possess acceptable social skills to find a decent one; the reality where he gets hungry when he depleted all his money, searching the dumpsters for food; the reality where he has no home, and his love for Dean isn’t enough to reach him; the reality that he won’t be able to touch or kiss Dean on a daily basis.

  
He knows what to do. But, God, this is the hardest thing he has to and it’s breaking him inside. 

  
Castiel looks at the sky and a tear falls from his eye. “Is this my punishment, Father?” he whispers. He knows God will not respond. Even in this perfect world he had created in his mind his Father will not reply.

  
When he looks at Sam he had to fight a sob when he notices Dean halfway down the stairs with a blank look on his face. He knows, Castiel thinks. So he bites his lips and forces a smile. And when Dean reaches him, he cups his jaws and kisses him hard on his lips. Passionate. Desparate.

  
Dream.

  
“You win,” Dean says softly. He bumps his forehead against Castiel and kisses him again. “You win. Just—just don’t go,” another kiss, “please?”

  
“Dean—”

  
“I’ll—I’ll drink that stupid Kale smoothie—hell I’ll drink it forever,” Dean cries. “Just … stay.”

  
“I can’t, Dean.” He whispers. It sounded weak even to him.

  
“You like it here—you’re happy here.”

  
“It’s not real.”

  
“Feel this, Cas,” Dean takes his hand and puts it on Dean’s chest, “Tell me this isn’t real.”

  
“Dean—” Castiel looks over at Sam who’s watching them sadly. He jerks his hand back slowly and say “I have to go.”

  
He brushes past Dean and walks towards Sam. Sam has his angel blade with him and Castiel is about to reach out when he hear Dean say “I love you.”

  
Castiel freezes. There’s a lump in his throat and his eyes begins to water once again. He doesn’t want to leave. He honestly wants to stay. But he’s human now which means he somehow understands emotions, empathy. He knows that will happen to Dean and Sam if he chooses to stay. It will break them. And Castiel doesn’t want to hurt either of them in any way. He will go back. He will go back even if it means he won’t have everything he had in this world.

  
That is probably the first and last time he will hear those words come out of Dean’s mouth, so Castiel takes it. He smiles sadly and turns to look at Dean one last time. “I love you, too, Dean Winchester.” He chuckles and shakes his head. Castiel had longed to say those words. It’s kind of pathetic to only have said it in a dream.

  
Castiel notices Sam slowly fading away. He grips his angel blade tight and gulps. He doesn’t want to look at Dean while he does it—really can’t bare the look on Dean’s eyes even if he’s not real. Castiel hears Sam say, “We’ll be waiting for you.” And Castiel makes up his mind and plunges his blade in his chest.

  
He doesn’t feel any pain, only a hollow feeling in his chest.

  
He finds himself falling once again. There’s darkness. Cold and unforgiving. And when he wakes up he grips the nearest thing his hands can grab on.

  
Dean.

  
He knows that face; knows those eyes; knows that voice.

  
He can hear Dean calling his name, a hand brushing his forehead, his cheek, his chin. 

  
And just like that, Castiel is back.  


**Author's Note:**

> i did not inted for this fic to turn out like this.   
> anyways, thank you for reading!  
> kudos and comments are appreciated.  
> i was thinking a sequel perhaps?  
> let me know what you think.
> 
> i love djinn fics.


End file.
